Dracōville

The Dracōville Alchemical Society has achieved a breakthrough in the science of alchemy—the misosophist's pebble. The misosophist's pebble has the ability to transmute any metal into lead.

The Dracōville Alchemical Society is a secret society (though everyone knows about them and can list most of the members) dedicated to the study and advancement of the art and science of alchemy. They are rumored to possess a secret laboratory deep underground in the heart of Dracōville where they carry out their secret research, though the tale varies depending on who you hear the rumor from. Some say the society just meets at the house of one of the members and doesn't have a great lab, while others report with certainty that they possess an entire city of gold beneath the ground where the alchemists dwell for all eternity, having already achieved the philosophers stone and the elixir of life.

Of course, this is all speculation. What we do know is that the Dracōville Alchemical Society does exist, and they have achieved the misosophist's pebble. It is only a matter of time before they succeed in producing the philosopher's stone, if they have not already done so.

Pan the panophobic panda, the founder of the religion know as Confusionism (unrelated to Confucianism), has announced that the world will end this year, some time in August. It should be noted that Pan is always predicting the end of the world, and has evidently been incorrect with his previous claims.

The magical beings of Dracōville do not appear to be worried. Several Dracōville covens have reported the inaccuracy of Pan's claims, citing the fact that they have not arranged the end of the world and would know if anyone else did. The dragons are not concerned, claiming they know everything that has ever occurred, as well as all that ever will occur. The Magellanic Turtles simply say that they are the gods who created the world, and will destroy it whenever they feel like it.

Pan is probably wrong, but the world must end some time, and now is as good a time as any. Worried Dracōville citizens are recommended to go to the Temple of Vulcan for a sacrifice, being careful not to be sacrificed themselves.

Dracōville has strict policies against technology. However, an exception has been granted for the Guild of Apothecaries airship. It was deemed that airships scarcely counts as technology these days, and the Guild of Apothecaries needs luxury transportation to protect Dracōville against the plague.

This year, the Guild of Apothecaries will begin construction on a new research facility at an undisclosed location on a tropical island. This is important, because during an epidemic, the doctors must still be alive to develop a cure. The tropical island was determined to be the place in the least danger from the plague.

The exact plans are confidential, but the facilities include decontamination swimming pools and antibacterial tanning beds. Several rats, including the chief apothecary Justin, will be going to the island by airship to oversee construction.

For the four hundred twenty-first consecutive year, the Guild of Apothecaries has won the award for being the best medical institution in Dracōville.

The award was given by Duke Sebastian, who declares that his decision was impartial and not based on the fact that the Guild of Apothecaries is the only medical institution in Dracōville.